I hold an old reputation for being a wild driver. I don’t think that the word reckless would describe me, because I have never had an accident. But my first real job was a hot shot delivery for a automotive paint store. I prided myself for getting to and back in record time. The world was my racetrack, and I weaved, ( I know, they tell you in Drivers Ed not to do that, but I always believed that rule was for non hot shot delivery people). I thought of myself as a professional driver, and wondered if there were any more like me.
I kind of went through life lonely in my profession, with all the completely idiotic drivers on the road, I was almost certain that there were no other ones like me. Not until of course, my first trip through Atlanta. I was so excited to see that they have two lanes dedicated to professional drivers, it seems this far up north, all the ones like me drove big trucks. I was ever so proud to drive in those right two lanes. I am sure that those excluded from this privilege were eat up with envy.
Over the years I have learned a lot from driving and drivers. There are a lot of patterns that can be seen if you study on the subject hard enough. I call this my “Sheep Theory”. It is amazing that when you come up on a stop light, and have two lanes, everybody will be in the same lane. I am not sure, but I believe that like when women will call each other to see what they are wearing to some event, drivers get a memo or something, that tells them what lane to be in at any given light. And, to be truthful, that’s alright by me, because, I always feel like they have moved aside for me, so that I can drive up in that vacant lane all by myself.
There is something else that has always puzzled me, It is, when a drop of water hits someone’s windshield, the brakes come on, and immediately every drive slows down to a crawl. This same thing happens when you approach a bridge of any sort. Now in Florida, we have rain all the time, and with a river running through town, there are more bridges than pavement. So you can only imagine when it starts to sprinkle… Sheep!
Since moving to Nashville I have seen something else, it has taken me quite a bit of studying to figure out, but I do have the answer. Everybody up here drives in the left lane. Now for someone like me that has paid attention in drivers ed, I know that slower traffic rides in the right lane, and “Passing” traffic in the left. Listen up, and go back and read the book again if you need to, But, the left lane is NOT the FAST lane! (this is a pet peeve with me). Well, I also know that in Jacksonville, people drive in the left lane to be rude, but I quickly was convinced that this was not the case up here. It took me some time of chewing on this “Sheep Action” then I realized that the folk up here did read the book, but the problem is that they don’t know their right from their left. If you don’t believe me, look at the exits around town. If you want to go right on a highway you have to go left, and if you want to go left, you have to go right. (Now as to the reason for this, I am not sure if the road engineers are from here, or if they just made the roads to accommodate the drivers). But I have to admit, Once I have realized that I will never educate enough people to get them to drive in the “Correct” right lane, I decided that I needed to change my driving habits, and I started driving in the left lane too. By golly, all my driving frustrations have disappeared.
One more thing. I love the slower pace up here. People don’t tail gate you all the time here, They love to blow their horns, but it’s not to be rude, they just love the sound it makes. So I have slowed down, rolled my windows down, and smell the roses, as I drive slowly by in the left lane….. Euwwwwwww, what’s that smell…. I feel a song… There’s a Dead Skunk in the middle of the road… Dead Skunk!
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