My Life

I was lost. Crazy Uh? My life had no direction, and I had this craving to be something. To do something special, to be liked by people, and basically, staying alive while I do all that.

My life really was full of a very gray darkness. I know, you think it sounds weird, did you read the title of my Blog?

There are a lot of details that explain what I mean by darkness, I will not take your valuable time droning on about my wicked past life. But as to why I described the darkness as a “Very Gray”, that is because I had a very loving Mother who shared her love for the Lord Jesus Christ with all her children, but she saw the darkness in my life, and spent a lot of time praying for me, and directing me in the direction of the Lord. I spent all my time, it seemed, running from him once I realized he was who she kept directing me too. It almost felt like I was being tricked into talking to him.

Then, of all things, as I expected to go to the beach one sunny afternoon to celebrate my birthday with some friends. A day of drinking, partying, and basically, getting into trouble, there I sit, in church, not a clue (again) that I had once more let myself be led right into his presence. Then the most fantastic thing that ever happened to me, happened that day, in that church, in that pew. Staring at the preacher as he drone on about being a Christian, somebody spoke to me. Not a person, not the preacher, but this God I had run from all my life, he asked me something… “Are you really a Christian Mike”? “Do you know that pretending to be one will not save you from hell”? “Do you want to go to Hell Mike”? I cried out in my heart, I am sure that God heard every word, and I begged God to save me, I wasn’t sure of the first question he asked, I thought I was saved, I thought I was ok, so I told him, if I wasn’t, then save me, and if I was, then I was his. I promised him, that I would be his!

Then off to the beach I went. Never told a soul about my conversation with God. But he heard me. He took my word, he saved me, and began to change me. I had a miserable time at the beach. And every time I tried to enjoy that lifestyle, it got worse. My life began to change. I now had real direction, God made me something, His child, and he gave me something special to do, to share his love with others, and really important people liked me. He gave me an extended family that loved me no matter how rotten I was before.

No more Gray, no more darkness. I had real light in my life, and I truly didn’t fear death as I once had, because he promised me a place in his home, and he promised that he would come and take me there very soon.

An amazing thing happened to me, I was able to tell my Mother I loved her. After years of being hateful to her, God let me express my love for her before he took her to his home in heaven. I now understand her words to me all those years as a child, when she would tell me that if I didn’t trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, I would never see her in heaven. Now I know I will, one day soon!

The second most fantastic thing that happened in my life was that God had prepared a wife for me. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen before. Brilliant red hair, sparkling blue eyes, just bashful enough to not send me packing the first time we met. We became best of friends for a long time, as God was preparing her and me. Then nervously I told her I cared for her in a romantic way, and would desire to be boyfriend/girlfriend. The rest is history.

I have been inspired by these two fantastic things in my life to write some poetry. There in the padded room of my mind, out of all the chaos, God gave me peace, and gave me words to express my love for Him, and for the wife of my youth. I will share some of those poems in this blog as I get opportunity.

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable Gift… And Thanks Mom!